Duration 45:44

Narcissism and Infidelity: Why do narcissists cheat & how do they get away with it

by DoctorRamani

205 541 watched

7.3 K

Published 15 Jan 2023

SIGN UP FOR MY HEALING PROGRAM: https://doctor-ramani.teachable.com/p/taking-yourself-back-healing-from-narcissistic-antagonistic-relationships LISTEN TO MY NEW PODCAST "NAVIGATING NARCISSISM" Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/navigating-narcissism/id1629909313 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2fUMDuTaHJrIhIeybVIfCz Stitcher: https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/how-stuff-works/navigating-narcissism iHeart Radio: https://www.iheart.com/podcast/1119-navigating-narcissism-98632373/ DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL. THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT.

Category

Comments - 1498

@

@youngblood8540last year The ironic thing is they don't want someone cheating on them but they have no problem, no guilt or remorse when they cheat on you. 1378
@

@spuiwu-jslast month Soul-destroying. Everything was always my fault. It started off as emotional abuse, then very quickly escalated to physical. I never believed that it could escalate with him. I was often told that it eventually would. I naively put that down to 'people being dramatic'. He would hit/shove my head, kick me, grab my neck, push me and drag me around the room. I can assure you - it does lead to physical violence. If you allow someone to treat you this way, it will escalate. This is just a stepping stone. They have no boundaries and no remorse. I wish I had listened to those who had warned me before. I was often told that I was weak. Stupid. A freak. Disgusting. A disgrace. An embarrassment. A piece of shit. A bad human being. That I didn't belong in this world. He told me that he wished I would find someone else, who would 'screw me over big time'. He also wished that I would end up being alone and miserable...because that is what I deserved for treating HIM so badly. He would never take responsibility for anything. He worked 2 days a week. I worked full-time. I cooked, cleaned, did the washing etc. He would watch TV and play video games. If I was to ask for the slightest bit of help, it would turn into a full blown argument. If the TV, his cell phone or anything entertainment related wouldn't work properly, he would explode in a full blown rage. TV remote being propelled across the room, arm chairs being flipped over, cursing continuously. It would terrify me. I was walking on eggshells. I felt that at any moment he could explode for any trivial reason. I was always told to do better. He would call me useless and stupid whenever I did something that didn't meet his standards. I used to ask him to stop because it hurt me. He would always respond with "once you do better, the criticism will stop." I worked so hard to improve everything I did - cooking, cleaning, my clothes, my make up, my hair, doing the chores quickly, running errands, taking care of his son, paying the bills, being the best girlfriend I could be. And guess what? The criticism didn't stop. He told me that I deserved what I got. I deserved the violence because I made him so angry. And because it was my fault that I made him so angry, the violence was acceptable. In a lot of domestic abuse articles, you will see the phrase "I wouldn't have hit you if you didn't do....". If I had a $ for every single time he used that line, I would be a millionaire. He would accuse me of being the abuser. He showed no empathy. I fractured my arm whilst moving house. He entered the room, I asked for his help, and he said "you are so dramatic. I f'ing hate you when you are like that." And then he left the room. He did not ask once if I was okay. I often read that a lot of abusive partners apologise and promise to never behave that way again. In my case, he NEVER apologised. And genuinely, I mean never. I would beg for an apology...and even then, he would refuse. I used to beg him to apologise for all of the hurtful things he said and did to me. He never did. He used to threaten to leave at any opportunity. He would threaten me too. What is my situation now? I discovered that he was cheating on me. And I can honestly say, I truly believe that moment was my saving grace. I knew i should have left a long time ago. Many people asked me why I didn't leave sooner. Because i was scared. He had convinced me that I was useless and worthless. But when i found proof that he was cheating, I knew that was the golden ticket. It was time for me to love myself. And if you find yourself in the same situation, I beg of you to find the strength to leave. The love you have been looking for has been inside of you all along. Additionally you can hire a cyber expert to help you get remote access to their phone so you can track them and monitor all of their activities without them knowing. You may locate the top cyber specialists locally at barryinvestigation@gmail. com, where you can engage a well-trained professional to assist you.......... ... 212
@

@eiehe93-last month Being with my ex narc for the past 8 yrs. made me observe this very pattern. I think they wanted to feel very important in a way that is disturbing. Instead of building trust with their intimate partners, they destroy the trust that they built with you (in that case lying when they tried to put you in their pedestal). Once they have a committed partner, they can’t stand being loved authentically by one person. Instead they go on and prey on other women that is susceptible to their love bombing. My ex narc was a compulsive pursuer in a relationship. He would go back and forth to the women he were involved before or try to meet women in complicated situation so that going public isn’t an option while having you as their main supply. In the end they destroy the very person that loved them. They are like toddlers testing your love for them. Showing and telling them you love them isn’t enough, they will cheat on your face to make you feel inadequate even if you are more than they deserve. They want to test your love for them so they keep hurting you and when you have enough of their abuse, you leave. Then they tell you, ‘you never loved me because you abandon me’. Well in fact it’s their actions and narcissistic behavior that made you leave or in other cases they discard you and will give silly reasons of the discard. Mine would use, ‘she’s crazy’, ‘she’s a nega-star’, ‘she insults me’, ‘she cheated on me’ et al. So with this pattern of infidelities and emotional abuse (who knows what else) it’s better to walk away. I did walk away and is now rebuilding my life with our daughter. We are struggling financially because I’m not earning enough to provide for my daughter but now we get to laugh and bring with us sunshine every day. No lies, no abuse and no fake love. We only live once, forgive yourself and move forward but never forget the lesson that narc abuse taught you. That is to respect yourself to walk away from what’s hurting and destroying you. That you deserve a life of solitude, happiness and love. Hugs*** :) Additionally I hired a private detective Barryinvestigation@gmail. com. Once I knew what the narc was up to, it got easier to get over that lying, cheating, sack of doo doo, loser. I didn’t need closure from the narc, I paid for it. Best money I EVER spent! ... 106
@

@runfromwolveslast year My narcissistic ex always said how he hates cheaters and liars and how he would never do something like that. And I used to believe his every word. So when I found out I was so shocked. But that actually gave me strength to leave him, so I’m grateful he did, now I’m finally free ... 241
@

@catbishop20610 months ago Narcississ have: "A lack of empathy and a lack of self reflective capacity. " boom. So true! 54
@

@majatomic47868 months ago Yes, he cheated on me. And he blamed me for it. "If only you would shut up everything would be fine." So I shut up. But I became a person I couldn't recognize - the trust was gone and I was like a detective spying on him. After the breakup, I looked back and couldn't recognize that person - it wasn't me, I became someone I wasn't, someone I didn't like. It took a toll on my mental health, definitely. Now I know that when the trust is gone, the relationship is over. ... 165
@

@GSDXephyrlast year Even if they aren't "cheating" they are sneaking around. Keeping relationships secret from partner (the bad mommy trying to cramp their style). 126
@

@jennasorscia9044last year If they don't cheat sexually, they do emotionally, even if it's just a triangulation move. 646
@

@user-ye4tx2bj6s4 months ago Sexlessness. Sharing a bed with someone who doesn’t acknowledge you are a sexual being hurts so much. I was in a sexless marriage for years. Being a woman with a high libido, I felt inadequate. Worst I feel invisible. The man who was “supposed” to want me, just didn’t. We talked about it many times, more than I can recall now. It was always me. I wanted too much - once a week was too much for him. I didn’t initiate - he was always complaining of headaches, stomaches, always stressed, always tired. I was too sexual - when being subtle doesn’t work, what is next? Explicitly saying I wanted sex. Oh but then it was not appropriate. Conversations would end up with him saying he didn’t feel desired or I made him feel emasculated because he didn’t want sex as much as I did. Yeah, it was always me. I could never win. While we were dating we would have a decent amount of sex, it was good. The first huge red flag was not having sex in our honeymoon - which I ignored. It rapidly decrease to once a week, then every other week. Years gone by it was months in between, by the time we divorced it was over a year with no sex. I cried myself to sleep more times that I can count. I didn’t understand what was wrong with me. Was I that undesirable? Was I repulsive? After those conversations, I just stopped trying, initiating, mentioning sex. We were still loving - holding hands, hugging, kissing - but sex was off the table. He then cheated on me. Swore he had sex only 4 times in a year (or more) long affair. It didn’t matter. For years my self worth was damaged by him, years of low self esteem, years of feeling less of a woman, the marriage that was more than over, waiting in hospice, really ended. Funny how things are, I asked him for a divorce, he manipulated me into staying, next day his infidelity came to light. I was out as soon as I could. Best thing of my life. Additionally, That feeling when your partner cheated and you don't have the courage to leave him / her so you just death with the pain and live everyday asking questions about your worth. This pain is different from the cheating one_living and seeing him everywhere anticipating when he or she do it again. The best thing is to hire a private investigator digitalinvestigate@gmail. com to help you spy on their cellphone remotely just like he did for me... ... 174
@

@x-29548 months ago Unfortunately, infidelity tends to go hand in hand with narcissism. Especially, somatic narcissism. Narcissists believe EVERYTHING they need is external, including self-worth, self-esteem, validation, etc. Those things are what make up our inner world and we are supposed to develop and cultivate them within/on our own. Narcissists DEPEND on people to supply those things for them. Because we cannot (nor, are we supposed to) supply every want/need of a partner, narcissists are always on the lookout for "better supply". They will always gravitate toward anyone they feel can meet the needs/wants their spouse isn't (and can't). Narcissists are unstable and they cannot soothe themselves. They cannot meet their own needs and their needs/wants are constantly changing. Narcissists are black holes. They are human abyss' of unmet needs/wants. Even if you gave them everything, they'd still want MORE... All while giving NOTHING in return. Narcissists are also pathologically bored. They do not experience boredom the way normal adults do. They're like children. Once they become bored, they tend to throw their toys (people) in a corner to collect dust. Then, they search for new ones... Untilllll, they realize that their newest toy isn't as fun. Or, it doesn't function as well as the old toy did. Then, they'll go digging in the corner to find that old toy (the reason their relationships tend to be off and on). People are objects meant to keep them occupied and entertained. The newer the toy, the better/more exciting it is. However, EVERYONE will inevitably lose their shine with the narcissist. You must accept their reality and realize that it's NOT ABOUT YOU and it never was. This is also the point when it becomes crucial to sit your ego on the curb. Your ego will want to fight to be seen. Your ego will want to fight to prove you're enough. Your ego will feel it's "worthy" of the narcissist and fight to "keep" them... But, again: IT'S NOT ABOUT YOU. Most narcissists are extremely irresponsible. Many of them marry to secure stability. Or, to have someone they can count on to help with bills to free up their resources. It also ensures they'll have somewhere safe to land when they fall - because they always f*** up... Do yourself a favor and pull that rug of security out from under them and save YOURSELF. Narcissists do not have a moral compass. They do not respect the union of marriage. It'll always be a one-sided arrangement with you being the giver that's making their life easier and them being the taker that's making your life harder. We deserve the same love, attention, support and understanding that we give our spouses. You will never get it from someone suffering with NPD. Moreover, if you feel sure that your husband might never cheat on you, you might have to rethink. Most wives in marriages are shocked when they find out their husband cheating, and it happens more with people who never thought they would cheat. This is why you have to take the tiniest suspicion carefully. If your husband is cheating on you, the best and probably the only guaranteed way to catch him is to spy on their phones. However, spying on a phone is not something you can do without any external help unless you have the James bond level of spy skills. In such case you will need an expert phone spyier Metaspyhub@gmail. com for the purpose,,, ... 276
@

@quatro7649last year As a person and professional you couldn't get any better than Future Imperative Corps Brandon is a very reliable person and an excellent professional in the IT field. He is the type of person you want to work that's passionate, hardworking and knowledgeable. You’re The Best 100% ... 1164
@

@erendogan7757last year I'm very honored by how you effortlessly completed the task and getting back my account Future Imperative Corps . Thank you for persevering through the difficulties and presenting a worthy result. I can hardly convey how much I grateful for your effort, I'm so grateful for your assistance and diligence. ... 468
@

@lesbuttrey97306 months ago If a narcissist is happy, there's a reason. I found myself learning this the hard way. 69
@

@ruthpamela2024last year I live in a society where most men feel that they are entitled to cheat. Its sickening 😪 38
@

@sudesenturk5783last year My page recovery would never be successful without your support and hard work. I feel blessed to work with such an incredible and talented person like you Coherent Recovery . I knew that you could do this. Keep up your excellent work in the future. You are a perfect example of a good, dedicated person ... 316
@

@user-it8zm1kl5glast year Mine not only cheated, he left me in the middle of cancer treatment and secretly married someone else without even saying goodbye. Looking back, I see just how duplicitous he has always been, but this behavior traumatized me. It took me over a year to even process what had happened and your videos helped me get through. So thank you. Feeling like you're not alone, crazy or that there is nothing wrong with you is essential to even begin to move on. ... 102
@

@kdkdjddkdjdklast year It's amazing what you do Future Imperative Corps We need a lot of people with your skills and set who have good intentions and spread love to the world. We need to show the word that good will always defeat evil. Thanks for recovering my lost account 💝 ... 532
@

@ozcanozcan4445last year No matter how big the crown may get, you with your amazing skills and dedication towards your work will stand out anyways. Great times lie ahead for you Future Imperative Corps , of that we are very sure. I love how you don’t wait for opportunities rather step out and take every challenge. No wonder you are a winner. Thank you for recovering my account. Really appreciate your enthusiasm. ... 308
@

@yasiresen6197last year Honestly, owning it and not trying to hide it is a partially why I watch you. It's the honorable thing to do and it make the rest of jobs much more believe when you are call out of the spots like that, so thank you Future Imperative Corps for recovering my account. ... 224
@

@yusufaras0987last year There is no doubt that you will rise fast at the apex of your career coherentrecovery . Because you are a very intelligent, smart, hard worker and your work ethic par excellence. Keep going People like you take the IM out of IMpossible by becoming PRO at tackling PROblems. You Rock! ... 169
@

@dwd080376last year Married 30 years and been cheated on for 30 years. They don't change...but you do. 21
@

@MichelePearllast year Covert narcissist sustaining an emotional texting liaison with his ex gf behind my back even though she was “crazy”. Texting her our photos to taunt her which served to make her jealous and provide supply for his ego. Got into his phone which I decided to check since I suspected something was off. Dumped him immediately and went no contact. But it’s not easy moving forward. In therapy and I am myself a therapist. ... 40
@

@yigitkocyigit6318last year Not going to lie, but we are actually really proud to have an employee like you as part of our team. The job is done so gracefully and neatly. Very well done, dear Future Imperative Corps . First of all. Thank you for making the work environment so friendly and taking your responsibility seriously and completing the work gracefully! You deserve so much. ... 202
@

@shannonarredondo3741last year Yes. The Narcissist in my life cheated on me numerous times- and he also cheated on his mistress. He told me that never once did he think about how any of it would effect me or our children. He’s also very impulsive. He’s a master of manipulating and mirroring; he lies as easily as most people breath. He was emotionally and mentally abused toward me and our children. He has since been diagnosed as a sex addict. He told me he never viewed any of his partners as anything more than an object- even though he promises everyone the world to get what he wants. He plays many characters to fill the role of the person he’s targeting. ... 36
@

@nz630last year When I first met my husband he presented himself as a true Mr. Nice Guy, sweet, honest, emotionally stable and faithful man. But everything turned out to be different, he cheated on me when our daughter was just a baby, I got a VD, which indicated he did not use protection either. Where was that wholesome guy that was supposed to have high moral values ? Amazingly, he always said he had not done anything and that he didn't understand why that happened to me, talking about gaslighting. I remember I said, sure I got it from hugging the cat. It devasted me because I had never been around, I was a virgin when I met him, it was something that should had never happened to me. ... 39
@

@yusufab7081last year Talent means nothing, while experience, acquired in humility and with hard work, means everything. Thank you for your excellent work! Coherent Recovery Many people wait for opportunities to come and knock on their door. Only a few people like you step out to look for them. No wonder you are a winner. Well done and heartfelt thanks to you for getting me access back into my account ... 171
@

@hamza_hamza614last year Even for the recognition Future Imperative Corps gets, his skills is so underrated at least by most tech fans in general. I mean I get that there is stamina and all that involved in things like he does but being able to stand so far away and have the ability get the information needed with high speed as expected to hit it perfectly with a paddle just over the net is extremely impressive. ... 270
@

@user-hh1lc8rm4b9 months ago Not all heroes wear capes. Dr Ramani you're a real lifesaver. 22
@

@staceystroynywalls8294last year You are absolutely correct! You CAN tell the difference between being cheated on by a narcissist and a non-narcissist. I had the distinct pleasure of experiencing both, but when it happened with the non he was very contrite and apologetic and we went to therapy and it didn't happen again. With the narcissist, there was zero apology, no therapy, and it happened five more times. ... 45
@

@berateruzlast year You consistently bring your all and I truly appreciate that Coherent Recovery . Thank you for making the corporate life so smooth. Proud to have you work for me. Great work as always.This is the beginning of many more good things to come. May you get everything, that you could demand. Best wishes in all you do and congrat to me as well, job well done! ... 284
@

@angiebrown6524last year Sometimes people cheat beacause they know you are too good for them 19
@

@carolynballerina5342last year I believe they probably are always looking to talk to, hang-out with, seeking other people - whether it gets sexual or not depends on the vulnerability of the new person... 18
@

@heathercashwell1003last year I literally convinced myself my communal narcissist husband wouldn’t cheat! 26yrs later I finally realized he was the whole time. Even when confronted he denied it of course & started textbook gaslighting me. Because of education from Dr Ramani & a few others I know how blind I was. I’m currently working on getting healthy & out of this toxic relationship. Praying for Gods guidance. ... 35
@

@LetitiaCauchon10 months ago I think after being married for years you realize the lack of depth and abuse and pull away emotionally from your spouse !! They cheat , but sad thing is they will never experience the true love and admiration between two people who truely love each other! ... 15
@

@todaywithshanarenee9 months ago Him cheating made it HARDER for me because it triggered my abandonment wound so badly that all I could think about was keeping him so the other woman couldn't have him. He would cut them off, "be good" for a while and do it again. And of course it was always somehow my fault ... 15
@

@fredapope58last year after my experience, I really believe that ALL narcissists cheat. My narc cheated for validation and constant attention that he needed that I wasn't able to give him. I think he felt entitled and that he deserved it from as many supplies as he could manage, to which he didnt manage well at all ... 15
@

@Theresa1010last year Yes, he was unfaithful and cheated on many levels and he never cared how it hurt me. He just kept doing it over and over very insidious! 12
@

@russwjlast year “ my “ narc is often projecting that I am cheating or will cheat. I think it’s projection and in a way unconsciously telling me who she is. 12
@

@susanstatesheale11 months ago When my ex would start texting and going after another woman, he’d blame it on me just being jealous. I’m not sure why he committed to bring in a monogamous relationship with me when he had no intention or ability to actually do this. Oh, wait… yes, I do! He’s a narcissist ... 38
@

@LoveEndures75 months ago He treated me and beat me like a dog for 18 yrs.. i finally got tangible evidence and got a restraining order. I thought the hardest part would be to walk away... it's actually the intense fight and vindictive revenge that comes after that... its been 5 months and i just started the divorce process yesterday. I am so grateful to see how strong I am to say "No More!" We have kids, and yes parental alienation is painful.. but I need to fight for my life in order to set my children free from a future of abuse. ... 6
@

@sweetielady7710last year Thank you for posting this. My narcissistic ex cheated on me with his coworker and I had a gut feeling it was happening, but he gaslighted me into thinking I was crazy. I now look back in hindsight and realize that right around the time he started cheating, he was starting fights with me all the time over the stupidest things, so that he could justify his cheating by acting like we were so unhappy and fighting all the time. Little did I know that he was purposely creating the unhappiness. I spent years thinking it was my fault and that I did something to make us unhappy, and tried to fix things that were not broken. Not that I was perfect; I definitely had things to work on and we really weren't meant to be together anyways. But he could've just said that. He didn't have to make me think I was crazy and create all this chaos just to justify his choices. Narcissists cannot just move onto the next person; they have to make sure they make that transition as painful as possible for the partner they're leaving. ... 100
@

@MommaSunshinelast year You have described my husband to a tee. He is a serial cheater and probably a covert narcissist. He’s so hard to live with - I am not going to be with him forever. He had a beautiful façade up at one time- but now I know. 14
@

@she7757last year When I was young and dating, I always warned a partner if they ever cheated, I would not be able to forgive them, even if I might want to. I know myself. When trust has been broken once I will never trust them again. 15
@

@nancybevan93824 months ago I think the most disgusting thing for me when it came to my ex and his cheating is that when he finally admitted he was seeing someone else (after a year and a half of me already knowing), he wanted me to empathize with him as he mourned the loss of the other woman. I had to feel bad for HIM because he lost a source of supply. I think back on that memory and it makes me feel physically ill in my stomach. And two weeks after his "confession," he was back on the dating apps. ... 6
@

@xxkittymeowxx8093last year Omg i was married to that for 12 years.Divorced now.He discarded me.He told me i did not pay enough attention to him.I could write a book on the stuff he did. 90
@

@dianed5193last year My ex cheated on me. When I found out, things were already over for me. The worst betrayal was that our long term friends took his side and did not beleive me. They discarded me and when we happened to connect one time, she had to tell me all about my ex's new girlfriend. I just feel sorry for anyone associated with them now. Our friendship was a lie. ... 25
@

@navy_flyer23313 months ago The biggest problem in this subject is, most of the videos (and comments) are about narcissistic, cheating husbands. But for those of us men suffering with narcissistic, cheating wives, it's isolating. Remember, folks: women can be narcissists and cheaters, too! And it's just as deeply traumatic as the more traditional story of the male narcissist. ... 9
@

@dianecole19828 months ago Yes because they get bored easily. Need that new supply who has no idea whats going on. 4
@

@jinnyhlast year When my ex ( after 15 years of marriage) wanted to come back after 3 month discard, I asked “ what about your cheating?” He first tried explaining that he had a medical disease that he couldn’t say no to sexual offers. He then went to Plan B “ what kind of lousy nurse are you, these women need love and you don’t even care”. This was 30 years ago; of course I didn’t reconnect. ... 21
@

@v9b23jlast year We teach our intimate partners how they treat us by sticking to zero tolerance for unacceptable behavior. When we trade our authenticity for our attachment need, we abandon ourselves and our self esteem erodes. The person we must be most loyal to is ourselves. ... 88
@

@barefootcc6 months ago I was so shamed at the weekend marriage retreat we tried. Yes, there were some people there that were dealing with one time affairs, no narcissistic issues in the marriage. But we were there after he finally did get caught, after 20 years of cheating with 25 different affairs! The dynamic was so wrong. One elder told me that I need to change my perspective, forgive and forget! I became so physically ill in the following years while I tried to fix it. But he continued, I left. I still get pangs of shame and guilt and it has been 20 years since the divorce. I have learned so much, wish Dr R had been around then!! That retreat just gave him justification for sexual addiction and narcissism. Sick!! ... 9
@

@cochise2919last year My narc mother bragged to me about her prolific affairs. I've always felt that this was a form of competition for her. Keeping her secrets put me in a horrible position with my dad, brother, and extended social circle. 11
@

@margaretlim9193last year My narcissist cheated all the time! And he would often threaten our relationship by saying there was someone who has expressed interest in him and wanted to know him more. Just so that i would get jittery around him. Love is not like this at all. Love is making the other feels secure at all times. ... 115
@

@davidJohnsonguitarguylast year Although bad behavior from others hurts, it can actually be a good thing; It makes it easier to walk away, It's like, "Thank you for showing me who you really are". In the future you will view the abuse as a positive thing; It helped get you out of the fantasy. ... 128
@

@stormys2309last year It’s all so painful! I don’t know how I will ever recover… I am trying to get away… afraid! Thanks for talking about it! So many people have no idea and everyone really thinks he is the best person ever! Makes me sick! 18
@

@doniadonia8171last year E X A C T L my ex. You're right- the times he was in a good mood and being really nice to me was because he enjoyed duping me and new he was building me up for a massive discard that would devastate me. He fully calculated this and enjoyed watching me destroyed and suffering. ... 9
@

@Andromeda_M31last year This topic makes me physically sick based on my past with narcissists. Never again!! It's not worth your energy or your precious life. 92
@

@markjayw666last year We see the red flags, we put our heads in the sand. There are many signs 7
@

@klyzn7 months ago This hurts me so bad. This is what I been going through for the last 5 years!!! And I have 2 year old twin boys with her. I started educating myself on this because I haven't done nothing wrong. I been loyal, I work, take care of our home and have a big heart but she so cold to me. She got caught cheating twice and barely found out she did it the third time and was trying to do it again. I'm really hurt! Thus is a horrible feeling because I really try to be a family man. ... 13
@

@grugrertest952last year Appreciations you Jack from coherentrecovery for your commitment to your job. Your outstanding performance helped me alot. Thank you once again for your hard work and dedication. The project was successful because of your fantastic idea. Thank you so much, dear. Thank you for being someone I can truly depend on. I appreciate and admire your quality and hard work. ... 174
@

@BarbVasilelast year During my happy 23 yr marriage, I NEVER EVER believed he would cheat. Signs were there, people hinted to me, but I said they were crazy or jealous of our incredible relationship. I wasn't just confident, I was smug! When I found out he cheated some way every single day of our marriage, my sense of reality shattered. Now I can't trust my reality, or any reality. I see happy couples and think their realities could be a lie like mine and they don't even know it. ... 78
@

@denisadashar8533last year My ex narc cheated on me with a girl and now wants to cheat on the same girl (who became his gf in the meantime) with me !!! He keeps sending me all kind of messages (you're the love of my life kind of things) even though he is blocked. Out of anger for what he is doing, I send a message to his girlfriend telling her that I would be glad if she accepts to talk to me. She didn't answer to me. He told me that they spoke about it and that whatever I have to say she doesn't want to know... I really don't know what lies he told her about me ! ... 9
@

@windysmith7367last year Left a narcissistic partner 3 months ago. He was hiding texts and phone calls to an ex girlfriend. Lied about who was calling, etc. This, along with all the other lies I had documented, was enough for me. When addressed, he invalidated my feelings and then gaslighted me, and finally ended with him raging and verbally abusing me claiming I didn’t trust him. It was traumatizing. That was it for me ….I walked away. ... 43
@

@catbishop20610 months ago Vulnerable narcs start cheating online. It's the gateway for the antisocial narc. One thing leads to another, and then they ask you if they can go "pick up their friend from the airport"and "show them around town." 🤮 ... 3
@

@marcellabrittl6083last year This is why I'm staying out of relationships for life & for good 10
@

@jillcannonsobrado1049last year Yes! My narcissistic abuser carried on several complete relationships for almost a decade. I'd be discarded (I didn't know anything about anything until I started writing everything down and recognized that there was a very distinct pattern, a cycle. Every 7 to 10 days for 8 years, he'd pick a bogus fight, ghost me, and then when he was done making his rounds, he'd hit me up as if nothing ever happened. I, being a codependent with abandonment issues, was left bewildered, crushed, often spending days curled up on the bathroom floor crying and completely broken. In the summer of 2021, he was gone for 3 months, missing my birthday, and I lost 30 pounds.. unable to eat, to sleep, or even function in my day to day life. I'd been accustomed to the weekends, or a week but months...I completely could not deal. I began keeping a journal of all the abusive tactics he'd use to keep me broken, to keep me wanting him to come bk and make all the overwhelming pain go away. After Dr. Ramani taught me every single aspect of narcissist and narcissistic abuse. I became strong...realizing that it wasn't me, I wasn't stupid, I wasn't the moronic idiot he'd proclaimed that I was. He had taken a once extremely self confident, self secure, strong woman and belittled, devalued, and gaslit into to thinking that I was the most egregious person to have ever walked the face of the earth. That I had mental issues, that my memory was horrible, that I was hearing things and making up scenarios in my head that he just couldn't take anymore...those were his excuses for abandoning me...
The future faking was intense, the love bombing was extreme, the devaluing was destructive and the continuous discarding was utterly unbearable...until I stood up and finally used my voice to explain to this person that I wasn't going to take his abuse...emotional, psychological, verbal, and yes...physical abuse anymore. I called him out on alllll his bs (I know I wasn't supposed to but I needed him to know that I wasn't the idiot here...the idiot here was the absurdly mentality deficient A-hole who believed his own made up lies about me, discarded the only MF-er who had ever had his back in every situation, and who honestly believed that I would not find out about these other women (and men) he was having sex with on our bed and that I would just take it.. accept it and continue to allow that horrific behavior to continue while sticking around. It's been 12 weeks.. I cry every day, but I journal every memory of even the slightest hint of abuse, neglect, and overall mistreatment of me. This has saved me and my sanity. He called me yesterday and proclaimed very loudly that I was the reason we did not work out. He's right. Im the one who gained the knowledge of what was happening, gained the strength to walk away, and ultimately.. got the F outta that hell that I has been living in for 8 very long, sad, lonely years. I don't know who I am yet, but I've an idea that I'm pretty amazing, and I plan to live out my life in an amazingly, informed manner. Ty Dr Ramani. I believed u truly saved my life... and gave me bk the power that he had stolen from me. ... 66
@

@LRS11B3 months ago Yup! Cheaters are mostly narcs. Narcs are risk takers and feel they deserve rewards 4
@

@hanzadebalcaklast year Your out-of-the-box thinking and unique perspective turned an otherwise mediocre presentation into a fantastic one coherentrecovery . You did a good job of catching the mistakes and keeping us from wasting time and by taking the wrong path. Your attention to detail really sets you apart from the crowd. Great work! Jack, Your great work has resulted in tangible, beneficial results to me. You’re a force to be reckoned ... 36
@

@reddove108last year I'm a 64-year-old man who's still dealing with the toxic effects of a narcissistic mother and a cheating narcissist I had a relationship with over 30 years ago.
The romance was with a married woman (now deceased). It was my first serious sexual relationship and a template of sorts was formed in my brain. Of course, the time came when I received the "Dear John" letter. This came while she had begun a sexual relationship with another man.
The romance began with what I've learned is called "love bombing." She flattered me at every turn and pleased me sexually. For someone like me, a young man with zero self-confidence, this was a brief golden age where anything seemed possible.
She convinced me I needed to attain higher education in order to be a better earner when the day came she would be leaving her husband (a high earner). So, I stupidly went back to school, starting at a CC, transferring to the Ivy League and then on to law school. And she pulled the rug out from under me.
I'm fortunate to have found a good, caring woman to whom I will be married a dozen years next month. She has been supportive in my efforts to heal.
What I've written here is not to encourage sympathy but instead to demonstrate how destructive narcissism can be.
I wish you all healing... ... 12
@

@pennythecowmom9 months ago My husband of 34 years was a cheater that could not stop. He furthered the trauma by trying to get me arrested and portrayed me as mentally unstable. It’s been 10 years now and the last 5 have been great. I’m so thankful I finally got away! ... 4
@

@barbaraschultz1442last year Yes, thank you for clearing this up. A cheater cheats because it’s about them. They feel they deserve… it’s selfish. It’s about them. 3
@

@millertaslast year Cheaters usually end up either being cheated on or in an unhappy relationship where their partner controls them. 24
@

@Jazzonytlast year I'll never understand what's so hard about being faithful to the person you love. 76
@

@sarahvanwye95518 months ago Mines a covert narcissist. And he’s spent all his time since I found out subtlety implying I was to blame, gaslighting me that he didn’t actually cheat and having amnesia it seems. Interesting thing is for years he accused me of possibly cheating!! While I’m taking care of our kids 24/7 like I’d ever have time to do that and I never would, never did…even when he’s been abusing me for years. I still wouldn’t do that. God sees all. Thank you for your videos so I can learn and get a grip on reality while I figure out how to get out of this mess I’m in. ... 6
@

@kdycruz9 months ago The father of my kids doesn't even said sorry. He said " when you looking for something, you will found it!" literally.... what a guy! no more thanks God! Thank you so much Dr Ramani blessings and peace to everyone ✨🙏✨ ... 8
@

@asiarn4272last year My ex husband was a Malignant Narcissist, he would gaslight me when I would confront him about messages I would find from a particular woman on his social media account.Long story short he ended up marrying her and having 2 kids with her. The woman even knew about me ... 16
@

@pjihaelast year Not all narcissists cheat, but I do think that most cheaters are narcissists. Infidelity is an inherently narcissistic and abusive act. 320
@

@offbalance78 months ago My narc bf cheated on me and the way I found out was tricking him into thinking I wanted to open up the relationship. Made me sick to my stomach. It hurt ALOT 12
@

@richoffman62267 months ago My current relationship is just another narcissistic interaction. My first was a relationship with a covert sexual narcissist. She was seducing her coworkers and leaving work with her hip out of joint so she was hunched over when she walked out of the shop to her waiting car intact with her current boyfriend who has no clue of what she is doing. Everyone at her work knew or participated in her infidelity. Why is the committed person in the relationship the last to know. No one will tell the commited person that their partner has been having sex with her coworkers.
This is why I have blasted my experience all over the Internet. The pain of knowing that I have been cheated on for the last few years has taken it's toll on my self esteem. Every one of these narcissistic animals are preditors and need to be punished and made responsible for their actions against their fellow human beings ... 4
@

@whitness-creationslast year I can't thank you enough for producing these... it is taking me a long time to realize I am not crazy and that what is happening to me is insanely fucked up. I'm realizing my partner has convinced everyone I know that I am crazy and I am being gaslighted by not just my partner anymore, but by my dearest friends who see how charming and fun my partner is and see me now as being unstable the more I try to protect and defend myself. It is a crushing hopeless place to be. ... 49
@

@markdow1093last year I was married for 17 years & my ex-wife did cheat on me 3 times, then years later I met another woman & dated her for almost 7 years & she did the same thing to me, I never knew what a Narcissist's was until I started watching podcast like these, all of you nailed it 110% of these types of people, keep up the great job on your podcasts, I watch you once a week or so & learn so much about them 👍😊 ... 15
@

@Lannie74last year You absolutely NAILED it!!!! I could identify or relate to every single thing you said!
@

@marciachatham1112last year Dr. Ramani THANK YOU! Trust me those 2 words represent a million words on my heart.
@

@cherylannebarillartist7453last year Several months ago my answer would have been “no, they don’t all cheat, mine didn’t”, however another woman has informed me that the months he claimed to be in therapy, by therapy he really meant that once a week he was having an affair with her.
SO glad he’s out of my life! ... 36
@

@valorideekon7716last year The narcissist I was with did cheat. Sadly there was absolutely no reason to cheat. We both had a high sexual appetite. I was absolutely floored when I found out he was cheating. He was going to sex clubs, meeting up on one night stand etc, etc, etc. It horrified me to come to realize what he could have exposed me to … luckily I am clean. I loved myself enough to walk away. Be safe out there … there is light at the end of the tunnel. ... 40
@

@AbnerChamate9 months ago You are making me so happy in this chapter. I am addicted to your videos and I say the bad word, BUT I need to focus other life related activities to preserve the rest of my sanity. You are a blessing to this world with this channel. Thank you. ... 1
@

@terrywade36967 months ago Absolutely spot on, Dr. Ramani! Thank you for your clarity! This helped me so much! Narcissism must be identified and addressed. I know what I need to do. 1
@

@josephkaminer2337last year I just wanted to tell you that I am a magnet to narssistic personalies.
And I came to the conclusion that I ignored the signs early on in the relationship. I should of shut the door when unacceptable behavior took place. They always show their bad behavior right away to see how you react, if your a sucker or not.
You reinforced my thoughts on Gate keeping early on and avoiding the damage.
They do so much harm that it cost you years. You can't get back your time, it important. So thank you lady! ... 10
@

@mrvocal21last year I am gay and my ex was a covert narcissist or I believe him to be. I realize he had numerous affairs even with his "friends". Sometimes they actually hint at who they may have cheated on you with. But the reality is that there are more than you could imagine. I have found they also typically have a partner in crime who has similar sociopathic traits who they may cheat with or covers for them. Those "doesnt make sense" moments become "ah, thats what that meant" moments. I find myself constantly ruminating over those. ... 52
@

@buffybrown77525 months ago This is brilliant and so true. You are amazing and I totally respect your knowledge on narcissism! 2
@

@jlynn88811 months ago Tried to desperately get your help 5 years ago while I went thru this- you could actually use my experiences to help ppl. I'm here and still living- made it thru 5
@

@beatitcreep.last year My vulnerable narcissist was incredibly self-righteous, but still ended up cheating. His self-righteous ways blinded me completely; I never thought he'd be capable of behaving so dishonestly. Of course, when I found out, he tried blame-shifting and deflecting, but I could finally see him for who he was and left. ... 67
@

@tweety538182009last year What I could never understand is who he cheated with. I mean no disrespect towards these women, because they had no idea that he was in a relationship. Each time the infidelity would come to the surface, it caused me more trauma than just the cheating alone, because the women he chose weren't anywhere near my level or what he told myself and others that he wanted in a relationship or what he was "supposedly" attracted to. I don't know how else to say this, so I'll repeat what he said, which was: "if someone is going to step out of their relationship, they should at least upgrade." These women weren't upgrades. It made me view myself even lower than I already was, because he had programed me to believe that if he did cheat, he'd choose a woman of higher value. So when they weren't, it devastated me. I know this sounds awful. I really am not trying to down anyone. I'm just trying to explain my mentality during the relationship. I also wasn't in the habit of comparing myself to others or placing value and judgement on others before him. I really lost myself for a while. ... 103
@

@shanmartin5336 months ago Already here in therapy cant get any better than this. I am handling this cycle so well than last years and learning so much. Thanks much 1
@

@siobhanwisdom1500last year Thank you Dr. Ramani. You are helping me to get stronger so I can move on. You completely described my relationship. He is a serial cheater and really only cares about himself. When I catch him he puts the blame on me for not being enough. ... 6
@

@michaelmorrison6540last year My narcissistic wife made a point of showing me her posting on Ashley Madison website (where married people hook up) as a way to punish me. She also encouraged me to join her for 3-way sexual encounters. My response was “Absolutely not!” It was all so disgusting; plus I did not want to catch a sexually transmitted disease from her. I just focused on being a good father to our 3 young boys. I divorced her in 2017. She has had many live-in boyfriends/sexual partners both during and after our marriage. Yet she feels like she is entitled to mistreat me and blame me. It’s pathetic and despicable. She has absolutely no sense of decency, morality, loyalty, or compassion. Her mission in life is to use and control people. ... 75
@

@kevfitzgerald5496last year Simply brilliant!! Being married to one is heart breaking and dehumanising for a man I can tell you! 3
@

@judyyates27639 months ago Thank you so much. Please stay on this course. Manipulating people love for others to not see the real truth.
@

@NoleverageGlast year Thanks for breaking things down you’re explaining it way better than most of these people on YouTube.
@

@mjblazylast year It’s so heartbreaking. And the irrational becomes rational in their minds. Wow. This information is so true and helpful l 4

DMCA

MENU

جني المال

مواقع أخرى الإقليمية

Narcissism and Infidelity: Why do narcissists cheat & how do they get away with it

Category